Have you ever wondered why some leaders shy away from challenging conversations with certain team members? Does the idea of having a discussion involving constructive criticism send you in the other direction? The mere thought of offering constructive criticism can be daunting. Surprisingly, about 40% of managers admit to avoiding this aspect of managing, according to the Harvard Business Review. Still, it is a critical component of leadership that we have to wrap our hands around so that we can be more effective leaders.

You and I both know that ignoring this delicate task won't make it disappear. It’s our responsibility, and frankly, we owe our people the truth. The key is in how we deliver it. If our staff trusts us and we show discretion, compassion, and patience, it can be freeing, create an a-ha moment, or act as a stepping stone in their career. 

Is this a recurring issue? Why would you let them continue to flounder? If you’ve noticed, others have, too. What does it say to your team if you refuse to address the issue?

Work through your own anxiety or triggers before having the conversation. Avoid ruminating on it, as it can sometimes seem bigger in your mind's eye. Focus on your intention rather than their potential reaction. Remember how you’ve received feedback, and work toward delivering it in a way that is compassionate and appropriate. Emotional intelligence and maturity can help individuals accept constructive criticism when it’s delivered with care. You aren’t responsible for their reaction, but if you fear a strong negative reaction, then prepare for that. You don’t have to do it alone. 

Prepare for the encounter by jotting down some notes or bullet points to keep you on track. Avoid scripting - it’s essential to maintain a human touch and use specific examples to remain fact-based. This isn’t about how you or anyone else feels. What matters is the impact of the behavior/action. Consider the individual and their perspective to help prepare for the discussion. Can you find a way to tie the issue to a value they will respond to? Are they motivated by reputation, career advancement, or other incentives? 

While these conversations are rarely easy, they become more manageable when you have already connected with your team by establishing trust. Your commitment to being a leader with integrity means that you can treat this as a two-way discussion, and you may be surprised at how they respond - they might be relieved, or it may open the door to them asking for help that they weren’t sure how to ask for. 

Reframing difficult conversations like this will help you deliver the news by remembering that you are honoring your role as a leader, you’re respecting the individual by helping them, even if it’s not entirely appreciated at the moment, and you’re protecting the integrity of other staff, the work, or the department by addressing what needs to be dealt with in a responsible, timely and compassionate way. At the end of the day, that is part of what being a leader is all about. 

Cheers to your expedition to self ~

XX

 Audrey