Listening is an art form and requires an intention to be done well. We hear things all day long, whether it’s traffic, the chimes from various phones, or music. Listening, on the other hand, refers to giving focused attention to the sounds you hear. You can hear background noise while you eat, study, or drive, but the art of listening kicks in when you can drown out that background noise and give another person your full attention. Without that focus, you will lose the opportunity to respond appropriately, provide guidance, or connect with that individual. 

Did you know there are three levels of listening? In today’s busy world, you won’t be surprised to know that we mostly fall into the first level, but with practice and determination, we can achieve a better state of listening. Which of the following levels do you consistently sit in?

• Internal - Listening to what is important to YOU or how it will impact YOU. Like when you listen to the weather, so you know what to wear. 
• Understanding - You’re engaged and curious about how or why it matters to THEM. They can sense your attention while you listen to their words and tone, and observe their body language. There is no judgment, and you check in when their words and their facial expressions or body language don’t align. 
• Global - At this level, you are picking up on more than their words. You rely on intuition, read body language, and detect energy and emotions. You will, of course, hear their words, but you will sense them too.

Here are more tips for leveling up your listening skills. 

• Try to maintain eye contact - but don’t stare and make it awkward. They may decide you’re rude, and your eyes will dry out! 
• Do your best to avoid interrupting them. If you continually interrupt, the message you send is that what you have to say is more important. Rather, wait until they ask a question or pause. You don’t want them to lose their train of thought, forget a detail, or lose their confidence and stop sharing. Instead, use non-verbal cues like holding up a finger which lets them know you are listening, but have something useful to add at this point.
• Train your mind not to wander and instead stay present.
• Reserve your judgment, and replace it with awareness. Their thoughts and feelings aren’t yours.
• Practice empathy. 

When someone comes to you and shares how they feel they may be signaling vulnerability and are entrusting you with their thoughts and feelings. You are not required to agree, but you can be worthy of their trust by giving them your time and attention and honoring them as an individual. After all, we all appreciate someone we can talk to. You know you do too! 

Cheers to your expedition to self.

XX,

Audrey